Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Difficult Conversations

There are some realities in everyone's life.  One of those realities is that there are some conversations that are hard to have, those that do not have simple answers or quick fixes, and yet they are often the most important conversations to have.

Difficult Conversations:
A beloved pet has to be put to sleep.
A friend/ colleague/ mentor dies seemingly without warning.
A child dies from cancer.
A family member is sick.
There just is not enough money for what everyone else seems to have.
The storms were incredibly strong and houses and lives were destroyed.

Now imagine having all of these conversations with a group of eight year olds in the course of one school year.  For my class this year, these conversations have been part of what has shaped us as a class.  It has been hard.  

But...
The unbelievable part of having these conversations is all that we have to learn from the children in our lives.  I am thirty-four years old and finding myself having many of these conversations for the first time, so how is an eight year old equipped to engage in these conversations?  The truth is that they approach them the only way they know how....honestly.  They feel deeply and genuinely and their actions and words reflect those feelings.  They value honesty over politeness and they work through the hard parts.  They are unashamed to move forward admitting that they don't understand and often the important work is the conversation not finding a tidy explanation or universal solution.  They accept that their world is forever changed and they don't dwell on trying to make it into what it has always been before.

We are facing a time in education when there are many difficult conversations that need to be had and they will not be tidy, black and white decisions.  In some cases they are the same conversations that perhaps my third grade teacher faced.  That may be what is most difficult of all.  The world has changed,  is changing.  Can we still do what we have always done?

I had the privilege of being a part of a professional development opportunity today as a participant in Edcamp Birmingham.  This was a day lead by learners, for learners.  A chance to share passions and unearth some of the difficult conversations that for some of us,and by us I mean me, are still a running inner dialogue because the conversations are too hard to have out loud.  

The beauty of this day for me is the creation of a space, and a community of people who are willing to have the hard conversations.  Over 80 participants showed up because they wanted to, not because they were required to.  They studied what they were interested in and "voted with their feet" to travel between sessions that would enrich their teaching and their thinking.  They moved between sessions honestly, not just politely, and developed a sense of community.  Many of these encounters were an exciting opportunity to put a twitter name with a face.  Connections have been made and conversations started.

So what are the hard conversations facing education today?  What are the things that need to change?  What are the things we need to stop trying to change?  Are we ready to bring a child-like honesty to these conversations?

What do you think?  Join the conversation!

2 comments:

  1. Kelley, the nice thing about meeting the people we both met at EdcampBHam is that we now have the people we can have those conversations with, the difficult ones. Sometimes it takes the opportunity we were given by the great leadership group of people at EDCBH to bring us together. Once together, we then have someone we can easily talk with instead of continuing to exist on our own closed islands also known as classrooms.

    The other nice thing I noticed is you talking about learning from your students. Not done by enough people these days. I think it is long overdue that we put our egos aside and learn from each other because there is so much to learn and so little time to do it.

    Thanks for taking the time to write this and give others the opportunity to respond and interact.

    Paul

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